Oliver...
that little blonde kid who guest-starred on the Brady Bunch... Ryan is
Oliver. He's a jinx. Go anywhere with him and plan on changing a tire
(or two), getting a cracked windshield, being chased by a maniacal rifle-wielding
rancher, or stepping on a rattlesnake. But don't plan on getting lost.
Ryan's the one with all the map data stored in his oversized brain, and
the cute little round glasses (just like Oliver's).
Ryan
is a devoted dad. He's single, works long hours, and has a lot on his
mind.
In Ryan's
company, nothing should be taken seriously--ever. Even after more than
thirty years, Dave still can't tell when he's kidding and when he's not--a
compliment to Ryan, for Dave is much the same way, only not as skilled.
After
a day or two on the trail with Ryan, his twisted humor and uncanny talent
for pointing out even the most minute flaw in your appearance will make
you self-conscious for the rest of your life. He'll judge you by the size
of your head or the girth of your neck. At the end of your trip, you'll
have information about your mother you'll wish you hadn't, and wonder
why you weren't institutionalized at birth.
With
a BS in Geogrpahy from the University of Utah, a sharp memory, a mathematical
mind, and a profound love for the Great Basin, Ryan makes an ideal traveling
companion--if you can bear his jabs, insults, and strong opinions.
Aside
from the obvious, Ryan loves snakes, snowboarding, cult-classic films,
and rock n' roll. He also loves young female Asian contortionists who
have high paying jobs in the circus. He hates spiders, is allergic to
bee stings, and wastes a lot of money in the Poker machines. He is always
on the look-out for his Asian contortionist dream-girl, so if you can
help him out, send him an email.